There’s just something about corn at the fair, I don’t know what exactly it is. The recipe seems so simple: Take fresh corn, roast it… that’s pretty much it. Yet somehow theirs is beyond anything I can reproduce at home, or anyone else for that matter. They must have a secret, and someday it will be mine! But until then I’ll keep coming back year after year.

One of the best parts about getting corn at the fair is the toppings available. You can fix your corn however you want with a plethora of creative options. You have your basic pat of butter and salt, garlic salt, seasoned salt, lemon juice, chili powder, tabasco and the list goes on. My own needs are pretty basic when it comes to corn, a pat of butter and salt, maybe some seasoned salt if I’m feeling adventurous. But people at the fair get pretty crazy with the condiments. One fellow corn enthusiast swore to me that slathered in mayonnaise and lemon juice is the only way to go. More power to him.

There is a dark side to my fair story though. After we enjoyed some corn, spent several hours walking around enjoying the photography exhibits, livestock, learning about all the products you may have seen on late night TV and listening to some live music, I was hungry. Worse, I was hungry with too many choices. That’s when I broke one of my own cardinal rules: Never buy a hot dog from a carny when you’re desperate!

I’m not proud of it, but I purchased and ate what is without a doubt the worst hot dog in the history of mankind from a pimple-faced overweight woman in her mid-forties. I knew I made a mistake when she handed it to me and I thought to myself “was she wearing any gloves?” I shook my head. Surely anything served from an old RV converted into a kitchen has impeccable food preparation standards. I was being paranoid.

Both the hot dog and the bun tasted like they were left over from last year’s fair. But I have my principles, and one of those principles is when you pay $4.75 for a hot dog you eat it young man. So I did, and my body thanked me for it later.

So there you have it. The OC Fair: Go for the corn, stay for the rides. Avoid the carny dogs.